I'm not Perfect, but I keep trying
by suicidalSuperman
Summary: Caitie Kirkland, didn't always have a perfect life.  But she tried to make the most of it. FrancexOC. You have been warned.


**[[Caitie Kirkland, wasn't always known as Caitie Kirkland.]]**

She was born as Caitie Annabelle Carter. Her father, Noah Carter, was a high classed business man and a multimillionaire, One of the few in all of Northern Ireland. Her mother, Isabella Carter, married her father a few short weeks after they meet and one of her fashion shows in Scotland, and was now pretty much his trophy wife.

Now, her father only wanted one child. One perfect little son, to follow in his footsteps of his grand company. But, instead, he got Caitie.

He despised the little girl he had to call his child, but how would that make him look? So, he made the paparazzi follow him, his wife, and his little girl around everywhere. Just to prove they we're the picture perfect family.

Caitie had become they're living and breathing doll. And Caitie thought that was how all children we're.

**[[Caitie Kirkland, didn't always have a picture perfect family.]]**

Once, her sweet, sweet Barbie doll of mother died when Caitie was only fourteen. Everything went downhill. Her father and her, almost lost everything they had, for her father just didn't seem to want to do anything, without Isabella (As if he really loved her, but she was crazy about him.). After a while of denial, and depression, came the horrible days that still haunt Caitie.

He would go drink his sorrows, come home, yell and beat Caitie, until he was to weak to carry his fat body up the stairs to his small room.

One night, after a particularly long time of drinking, he came shaking with rage, and his eye's held a murderous gleam.

That night, her neighbours and people walking by, pretend not to hear her screams and pleas for someone to save her from the monster her father became.

They pretend that it wasn't they're fault, that the sweet little Caitie Carter, would never be the same again.

**[[Caitie Kirkland, didn't always have people to love her.]]**

After the incident with her father , she was put into foster care, with a foster family, in a even smaller town that Caitie use to live in.

The mother faked smiles, and had weary eye's and wrinkles. The father, drank to much and yelled at the both of them. Caitie would always flinch whenever he raised his hand, but he hardly noticed.

He hardly noticed anything.

Four years, after the torture she went through, living with those horrible people, she was only eighteen, but she moved away from Northern Ireland, and went to a strange private school, called World Academy.

It was filled with exotic people, who didn't go by names, only the countries they we're from. But the only people she seemed to have the guts to talk to, was the Korean Twins. Im Yong Soo, and Im Hyung Soo. She never really liked the either of them, or when Yong Soo would try to claim her breasts.

But they we're the best she had. Everyone else scared her. (Especially, a certain tall Russian student.)

One day, Hyung Soo asked her out, not very politely, but she agreed. And little did she know, how much she was going to regret agreeing to him.

She stood outside, waiting for him for over an hour, before just giving up, and making her way through the cold and slush, back to her small dorm room, which she shared with a very nice German girl, who had a strange older brother and went by the country of Liechtenstein. (But of course, she had never uttered a word to the blonde.)

Of course, the way back to her dorm building, there just had to be a bar, half-way along the way. Of course, it wasn't a nice bar. A dirty, and quite disgusting bar, in Caitie's case.

And, of course! Hyung Soo just had to be there, drunk, with his twin brother, and three other scary looking friends.

Caitie tried to just slip quietly away, and just go back to her dorm, finish her stupid Spanish homework, drink hot chocolate, and try to talk to the blonde German girl for once.

**[[Caitie Kirkland, didn't always get what she wanted.]]**

Hyung Soo, grabbed her by the waist, and showed her off to his friends, like her father did with her mother, whenever important company came over.

She didn't remember what even happened after that, she only knew that when she never wanted to see the Korean twins ever again.

The blood stained snow made her sick, blood never bothered her, but seeing your own blood smeared on snow, and horrible white like sticky substances mixed with it, it was enough to make any person want to claw out there insides.

Her clothes we're torn, she was freezing, and it hurt too much to walk all the way back to her dorm.

Caitie Carter was going to die in a dark alley, in the middle of December, after she had been raped by the only people she had every talked too, and people she'd had never even seen before in her life!

What a wonderful way to die, don't you think?

**[[Caitie Kirkland, didn't always believe in Miracles.]]**

"Excuses me, are you alright?"

Caitie knew that voice anywhere. It was always yelling at a certain taller blonde, who always seemed to be with the man who stood before her.

Arthur Kirkland. The second oldest of the famous Kirkland family.

His almost identical emerald eye's, stared into Caitie's. His eye's held worry, and fear. Fear that the small girl would freeze to death if he didn't get her to safety. And Soon.

Caitie couldn't do anything but nod, and try to plaster a smile. But that even seemed to hurt to much.

Arthur, or England, as he was known between all the other countries that went to his school,Could see right through this. So, he brought her home, explained to his brothers what happened, and Scotland had declared that they would take the scrawny girl into they're already large family.

A few weeks past, and weeks turned into months. Caitie liked being a Kirkland. It fit her. It fit her more than being a Carter ever did.

She proclaimed the County of Northern Ireland, shortly after they adopted her.

No one seemed to have a problem with this. But Northern Italy, had a problem with her being so ant-social and not talkative!

**[[Caitie Kirkland, didn't like her husband the first time they meet.]]**

It's true. The first time her and France ever meet, when was Francis, decided to annoy his lovely English friend, one Saturday morning.

It was fairly early when he came over and knocked on the door of the Kirkland's, but he knew. That all four of the Brothers would be up.

He didn't know, however, that a certain raven head would answer the door, holding a rather large cute looking sea monster plushy, and a very over sized Scotland looking t-shirt.

She was beautiful. As beautiful as women can look in the mornings, with her mangy raven black hair, her still bleary, sleepy green eye's, and small features. She was quite short, Francis nearly towered over her.

When her mind finally registered, that it was France standing at her door, she screamed, ran back into the house, and England came running, to see what happened.

France almost didn't even care when England starting yelling at him for scaring his poor sister.

Almost.

**[[Caitie Kirkland, didn't always get along with France.]]**

After that, Caitie and Francis had never spoken one word to each other.

Until, The first time Caitie ever came to a world meeting.

She looked even more beautiful, then the day he first saw her. Her raven hair, was all brushed and put into one long braided ponytail, her emerald like eye's flickered around nervously, obviously trying to not be to much attention to herself.

She ended up sitting in the very back of the meeting table, where mostly the smaller countries, like the Baltics sat. She was even to scared to sit with them.

France, being the old and wise, pervert that he was, strolled right over, and plopped himself down into the empty seat beside Caitie.

He flirted with her, like he did with every other country at the all the meetings, but through this all, she seemed very venerable, and she was shaking, like if she thought something dreadful was going to happen.

And nothing did.

But France couldn't seem to understand why the new girl was shaking so much, why she seemed so … broken.

"Are you alright, Mon Cheri?"

Those words, coming from the blonde's lips, we're like pure acid.

The only thing Caitie could do, was nod and tell him she was fine. Nod and Lie, like her mother once taught her.

The Frenchmen didn't make any move to get up from his seat. Instead, he looked even more concern than he did just a few moments ago.

"You don't seem fine…"

More acid.

She had tried again, to just smile, nod and lie. But he seemed to pry the Truth right out of her.

And told the most gruesome story, that the poor Frenchmen had ever heard.

After all that talking, Caitie was in a state of fear and shock.

Would he yell at her? Or worse, be disgusted? She did just tell him something, that no one knew about.

Not even her brothers.

**[[Caitie Kirkland, never thought she would ever get married.]]**

After all that meeting, France and Northern Ireland made an awkward friendship.

England didn't like this at all, but Caitie seemed happy, so he kept his mouth shut and just watched his little sister go on her days, with the French frog.

After seven, long months of knowing each other, France asked her to have dinner with him one bitter April Friday evening.

Caitie said yes, she didn't want to be rude.

But she would be lying, if she said she wasn't completely and utterly terrified all through her 'Date' with France.

But, it all went better then planned, and Northern Ireland, became the girlfriend of France.

No one knew who was more shocked, The Kirkland's, or the rest of the World.

Three more months past, and France finally popped the question, he'd been meaning to ask the Irish girl, for almost a year of knowing each other.

He asked her to marry him.

**[[Caitie Kirkland, never thought she'd be a good mother.]]**

The wedding, was scheduled for the middle of October.

Caitie, of course, being overwhelmed with happiness, to be finally loved after eighteen miserable years of living. Was also, getting very sick.

Portugal, her oldest brother's wife, agreed to take Caitie to the hospital, to see what was wrong.

When the Doctor told Caitie she was pregnant, it almost felt exactly like when France had fist spoken to her.

Like cold, acid.

Not that she didn't want to have a child, she just wasn't mother material. And Francis, wasn't much of father material ether.

Shakily, she had begged her sister law, Portugal, to take her back to her bother's house, where she knew, all of them would be there.

They didn't take the news well.

Especially, England.

She tried to reason with her second oldest brother, but England wanted to hear nothing of it.

Scotland, tried to be supportive, after all, his wife, not to long ago had given brith to his two little angels., Caroline and Cristina Kirkland.

But hearing about her bother's happy family, just killed Caitie inside more.

**[[Caitie Kirkland, isn't very good at keeping secrets.]]**

Caitie, avoided Francis like he was the plague.

He got suspicious. What was making his lovely Caitie act like this?

When he finally asked England, the truth finally came out.

England, with is face scarlet with rage, screamed and yelled at the poor Frenchmen, on how he should have never had asked his sister out, and gotten her pregnant.

When those words, left England's mouth, France was already on his way to find Caitie.

When he did, he scooped her up in a hug, and buried his face into her raven hair.

He had missed her, he had missed her so much.

Caitie's whole body was tense against his, but she made no move to pull away.

France, chuckled softly, put a hand on Caitie's stomach, which was noticeable larger, and lowerd his lips to her ear.

"You're horrible at keeping secrets, my love."

**[[Caitie Kirkland, didn't think she'd go in labour on her wedding day.]]**

Caitie, was self conscious.

She kept yelling at Scotland, telling him over and over again she was fat, and that she didn't deserve Francis.

Scotland, would just sigh, smile lightly, and tell her she was pregnant, not fat, and was beautiful.

It didn't do much, but Caitie would always thank him, and go back to panicking. (Scotland had to drag hero out of the room, and Ireland pretty much pulled her down the aisle.)

Just before the priest was about to ask their 'I do's'. Caitie's water broke.

She was rushed to the hospital, and nurses and doctors gave her weird glances, for she was still in her wedding dress, but she hardly cared.

She was in to much pain to care about anything.

**[[Caitie Kirkland didn't always have the will to keep going.]]**

It hurt, It hurt so much.

Caitie was screaming her head off, Francis was trying to comfort her.

Ireland was outside in the waiting room, going mad with worry, Scotland was paicing.

England hardly moved a muscle and Wales was trying to make sure Ireland and Scotland didn't loose their sanity.

After three more, long and pain filled hours, a loud, wail filled the stuffy white hospital room, that seemed to have the strange feeling of misery and death in it.

The loud wail, of a French and Irish child.

It was a girl, and the first time Caitie ever saw her, she will filled with an odd but non unpleasant tightness in her chest.

It was almost the tight warm feeling she gets whenever she hugs Francis. Wales told her, that he gets that feeling too, whenever he hugs his wife Monaco. He said, the feelings Love.

But this was different.

It was like love, but with an odd mix of guilt. But, the guilt didn't weigh out the happiness she felt.

The nurse, after cleaning her, and wrapping her up in a pink blanket, and a matching pink little hat, she handed her to Francis.

She was small, to small. Of course, she has been born three months early, but the doctor told her, everything seemed fine, maybe some lung difficulties in the future, but right now, she was fine.

Her daughter was alive, and that's all Caitie needed to hear.

Caitie could see, small, curly wisps of blonde hair, as silky and golden as the Frenchmen holding her, and her eye's. Oh her beautiful eye's.

They we're like a mix of her own and Francis's. Deep, sea blue , with very unnoticeable flecks of emerald green.

She was the most perfect baby, Caitie had ever seen. Francis agreed with her, completely.

The ended up naming her Henrietta. (Of course, France wouldn't let his daughter be named just anything, it had to be a perfect, and beautiful French name, that was perfect for his little princess.)

It did seem to fit her, in some ways.

Her perfect, little Henrietta.

**[[Caitie Kirkland, always knew, that if she ever had a daughter, she would never feel the way, she felt.]]**

_**[[[Hello all, Cailin here. I don't like how the ending, or how most pf CaitiexFrance parts came out, but hey, it's better than nothing!**_

_**Almost 3,000 words this fanfiction is! This took me three days! I'm very proud of this, ok?**_

_**So, please, review! Give me cookies! And stuff! =D]]]**_

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